Kind of a schizophrenic post, but I feel a bunch of highs and lows right now. A high: Mike came to visit again, because (and here's a low) I've been feeling terribly down because of Barley. I cried so much over the weekend. I kept hearing his raspy breathing and uncontrollable panting---due to his fever, he was uncomfortably hot. He must have been in so much pain because he never shows signs of distress, even when something hurts (like when my dad accidentally shut a car door on his tail, he just looked at me sadly and I jumped up to free him and he wagged his tail/licked it a but, but that was all). But I suppose every soul-wrenching event in life can be softened by something that reminds us that there are happy moments that brighten the dismal trajectory toward death. And some of those happy moments are so bright and happy and exciting that it can cut through the darkness with such brilliance that you do feel hopeful and joyous.
My brother and Teresa announced that they are pregnant! Congratulations, you two!! (Definitely a high.) The night they told us, we were totally stoked. Mike and I had been out having a date night, but we got called home to celebrate -- which we did with more drinks (water for T) and a late-night snack.
My mom was so psyched that she called a bunch of people to talk about it. Anyway, they also had the idea to try to do a brunch at the Monterey Ritz. So Mike and I took one car (my car took us a really long and indirect way that was also very beautiful), and met them, my mom, T's mom. The lunch was delicious and the scenery lovely, but it kind of made me think of Barley too because he loved the beach. Maybe one day my nephew will like the beach, too, though. And so life goes.
It was nice just hanging out and spending time together, especially given all that has happened. I have to say, my friends and colleagues at work have been so kind. I got several days off with Steve's blessing because he lost a dog before and know how sad and painful it can be. Alex stepped up to take over my assignments for the time being. Jay wrote me a beautiful card. Even the lovely people who created a paw print for us and the urn gave us the prints / copies for free to help us remember our dear sweet pup. Thanks, everyone. And thanks, Mike, for getting this beautiful metal poster (?) sign made. We should definitely put it up in our house once we move in together and get our own place.
The metal sheet Mike ordered is so fitting and sweet---Barley was very mild mannered, wasn't he? I'm sad we never got to take Barley on a bunch of trips as we planned. Thanks, Mike, for coming up and being with me in this sad time, as well as making such magnificent keepsake. I will also treasure my copy of the poor dear's paw. I miss you, my beloved dog.